For those of you who don't already know, the 1968 recording of Iron Butterflys' In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida was a slurring of the phrase, "In the garden of Eden". Now that this little bit of useless music trivia has been resolved, we can get to the meat of this posting. I feel as this is the one month aniversary of this Blog, there are a couple things that I need to get off of my chest so that there will be more months to follow. For many people a bar represents a type of 'Garden of Eden', the apples of temptation abound everywhere. There are pleasures everywhere to be found in bars, but there are also serious temptations. As a side note, the picture to the left that I took and chose for this post is one of my wife's favorite images. I just thought it fit the topic. No, it is not my wife, my wife is blonde. It could have been her a few years ago however, when she was younger, she was fucking awesome. In her maturity, she is still awesome. Just ask anyone who has ever dealt with her.
When you mix wine, women and song if you are a guy; or booze, boys and boogey if you are a gal, all kinds of things can happen. People give into the temptation of one more drink when they probably should not have another and sometimes give into one more romantic liason when they shouldn't as well.
Every bar makes their income from the selling of alcoholic beverages to their customers, this is no news flash, but we are responsible for your safety and well being while under the effects of the alcohol that you consume. Please try and help us out by trying to use a little self discipline in your consumption. Most of you are very good at this and don't require any intervention from the bartenders to limit your intake. Unfortunately there are those of you out there that are, and I am going to use the "A" word now, Alcoholics. It is a disease, an illness if you like. It is not a social disorder, or just bad form. If you can't find some degree of alcoholic bliss, aka, a buzz after the consumption of a couple of cocktails, you probably have a problem. If you can't remember last night while drinking, you really have a problem. Please get some help or sooner, rather than later, the police department and the courts will be more than happy to help you. You are not bulletproof, it is just a matter of time. The little cars with all of the flashing lights will eventually find you. Worse than that, you run the risk of killing yourself and or uninvited participants to your party because you are driving during your period of alcoholic misjudgement. I have a good friend who just recently spent ten months as a guest of the state while they were showing him the errors of his ways. I happen to know what I am talking about from personal experience. Many years ago, I drank way too much and on many ocassions arrived home not remembering where I had been. This happened only through the grace of God and a guardian angel that must have been the size of King Kong. I was my own worst enemy. I was never pulled over by the police and was never involved in any accidents, but I was incredibly lucky and quit while I was ahead. I quit over indulging because of the love that I had for my future wife. My drinking made her very nervous and unhappy. I said she was awesome, she probably saved my life. Not everyone will be as lucky as I was. Find a reason to slow down, don't quit altogether though, I still need the business. The bar business is a double edged sword, to provide people with enough of a drug, alcohol, so that they can enjoy themselves but not too much where they can hurt themselves or others.
If you find that you need to drink yourself into oblivion for whatever reason, please do it in the relative safety of your home. Not out in public. No one wants to watch, or put up with your drunk ass while they are out trying to have a pleasant evening with their spouse or friends. You will be more than welcome to stay at the bar and consume coffee or water or soft drinks between the consumption of the more adult preception changing beverages. If you are really there to visit with your friends, it does not require that you continually have an adult beverage in front of you. If people make comments about what you are drinking, it is only out of jealousy for your obvious possesion of wisdom. You won't insult us or any bartender/bar owner anywhere by pacing your consumption. You just make our jobs easier.
There are little hints that we can use in determining when you have had enough. Falling off of your barstool is a dead give away. Falling asleep at the bar, or meditating, as we like to call it, is another way of telling, especially when it is only Six PM. Going to the restroom to vomit is another favorite. Chances are, if this happens, you have had enough. There is that particular class of alcoholic that I like to call the bulemic alcoholic. They drink way too much, go vomit, and then drink some more. That might work at your house, but not at my bar. There are many other little signs of when it is time to call it quits. When you come in the bar already so drunk or drugged up that forming words becomes a real challenge, you are not getting served. Cursing at the bartender for another beverage is also a good indication that you are past your limit, are cut off and need a ride home. Some people slide slowly into drunkedness while others appear to be fine one minute and then just fall right off of the cliff into a sea of stupor. These are the difficult people to monitor. They're good, then they're gone. When we cut you off, we are not being mean, it is for your well-being and ours. This is one of the few businesses where the business owner or his staff has to stop a customer from spending money and adding to their business profits. Fast food restaurants don't face this issue. You're still hungry, fine, have another hamburger. No one is at risk of going to jail here because you are a glutton. In a bar, we are, serve someone too much and the server gets to go to jail and spend a lot of their money to get back out. I have a dream, I would like to live my whole life without going to jail, not even once. Call me silly.
I have often thought of video taping certain people that come to the bar, not for any legal reasons, but solely so that I can show them, while they are still sober, what they look like later in the evening. Maybe the reality of seeing themselves under the effects of their illness would help them to see the light. Nope, wouldn't happen, they would just want a drink while they thought about it. Ninety eight percent of all the people that come into the bar are delightful to deal with, it is only those very few that make the night very long. I love the business that I am in but I have to be honest, these few people make this job something that I think about leaving from time to time. To but it simply, our society has been altered sociologically to an extent that no one feels that they are responsible for their actions anymore. It is always someone elses fault. Whether it pertains to what they drink or who they sleep with. As the owner of a business, I don't mind being responsible for my actions, but I do resent having to be responsible for your misjudgements. The law requires that you have to be an adult to consume alcoholic beverages, so how about acting like one. You you live a longer, happier, healthier life, and so will my staff, myself, and bar owners everywhere.
