Guess He Ate Too Many Oysters

Well after I started writing this blog, I have had several people ask me what some of the stranger things I have witnessed at the bars or restaurants have been and I always have to ask the question, "In which category?". Of course more times than not, they are referring to funny or strange sex stories. So for all of those perverts, here is what I consider one for the books.

This happened a few years ago at a restaurant that I had in the downtown part of the city. A friend of mine came in late one night to eat dinner and was by himself for a change. He ordered an Oysters on the half shell appetizer along with Snapper Ponchartrain as his entree. As he was the last customer of the evening, I joined him after preparing his meal and enjoyed a cup of coffee with our conversation as he ate his meal. The young coed that was waiting on him that night seemed particularly interested in him as she was particularly attentive to his needs. This was something that this young lady was normally remiss in, customer service. After the rest of the customers had left the restaurant, she pulled up a chair and sat with us while we rambled from topic to topic. As it was nearing closing time and the kitchen staff had already left, I left these two people in conversation to go next door to the convenience store to pick up some milk for my wife. I locked the front door behind me, and as it was about to rain, ran over to the store. I was trying to beat an impending thunderstorm that was bearing down on us. At the store, I got behind a number of people buying lottery tickets. These people sweated over their choices like the fate of the world depended on their choices. After what seemed like forever to pay for my milk, I ran back to the restaurant as it was beginning to rain. I went in the back door into the kitchen as it was the closest entrance and out of the rain.

I put the milk into the refrigerator and walked back into the dining room. The newly introduced couple were not seated at the table where I had left them. Rather they where in the corner of the room on an antique fainting couch that I had placed there more for decoration than anything else. What surprised me was the sight of my friends' bare ass bumping up and down on my very attentive and cooperative waitress. I thought this is going beyond the call of duty to insure a good tip. Talk about customer service! They looked up at me when they heard me enter the room as I am sure that I made some form of audible comment, I don't remember what. Rather non-chalantly, they commented, "Don't mind us, we will be finished soon." Then they laughed and went back to their carnal pleasures. What the fuck, pardon the pun. I went back to the cash register area and began closing out the register. As my friend had not paid for his dinner as of yet, I briefly wondered what I should charge him for his dessert. Just kidding, obviously, that was on the house. Soon the contented couple, once more wearing all of their clothing showed up at the cash register where I was located and he asked to pay his bill. Nothing more was said about their activity except for my comment that I was not sure that their behavior fell within the prevailing health codes and if they had made a mess, they would have to clean it up. With the payment of his bill, my waitress grabbed her tips for the night and her purse and they left. I can only assume they left together as her car was left in the parking lot. Shortly after this, I decided to take the oysters off of the menu.