Here's The RUB-ber

Just got home from the bar where we had another interesting conversation tonight on one of those topics that you never plan for. There were a couple of college coeds sitting on the patio and I honestly don't remember what brought it up, moving apartments, I think, but the next thing I know, we are all engaged in a condom conversation. One of the girls I believe mentioned that she had been moving apartments with the help of her parents when the coney island whitefish were discovered by her mom and dad under her bed. The other girl then allowed that a similar situation had occured with her and her parents as well.

At one point in my life, I had thought about putting a condom store in our city in close proximity to the very conservative religious college in town. The school does not believe that drinking, sex, or drugs occur with their students, at least not publically. The name of the condom shop was going to be what else but Condom-Nation, a completely revealing name for the product sold and the viewpoint of the college. I beieve in truth in advertising.

Anyway, this brought about a conversation on their use and even if they have an expiration date. They do by the way, but if you get to it, you obviously aren't having much sex. Both girls very quickly admitted to the fact that they used them but did not like to. They both thought that there is nothing romantic about a condom, particularly when you are finished using it. This reminded me of a crazy cheap friend of mine, he was happily married at the time and he and his wife used condoms as a birth control method. Ok, so what. Well this guy was such a frugal fucker that he would rinse them out, dry them and re-use them. I will never forget the day that I went into the bathroom in their house to relieve myself when to my surprise was a collection of rubbers hanging up drying in between his wifes pantyhose. There are some things in life that should definitely only be used once and thrown away. The girls then went on to discuss their favorite brands, Lifestyles, Trojans, Magnums, Natural Lambs, or dental dams, ribbed or not ribbed, knobby or not. The one young lady stated that she and her boyfriend would change around because using the same type became boring, she and her friend must be real condom connoisseurs. Her amorous beau would wear a different type from night to night and let her guess what he was using. That sounded like an interesting new bedtime game, Stump the Hump or the Humpie. Anyway the long and the short of it was, no pun intended, that even though neither of the girls found them to be particularly pleasant to deal with, they both agreed that it beat a pregnancy or an STD. Kudos and Condoms for both of them.