Sometimes They Seem Like An Ass

Now I have a large number of customers that I look forward to seeing every week. They make my week fun and make going to work something to be looked forward to. There are those few customers however that can ruin what has been a great week by just showing up and being the asses that they are. Is it a God given talent or do they work andd strive to be jerks. There was one in the bar last night that stated, "When I drink, I am an asshole." Well asshole, don't drink!, or at least do it alone at home where you can't annoy other people. These people always give me a pain located a couple feet below my neck. If you know you are an asshole, strive to remedy the situation, not enhance it. He is obviously an asshole because he enjoys being an asshole. I believe that some people finding that they are deficient in lacking the skills to be engaging and generally be entertaining to others through normal means of communication resort to being an ass as a means to call attention to themselves. So great is their need to be noticed. He continually asked for us to play some particular music. We do not have a juke box, we have a radio and therefore have little ability to control the specific music played on it. We explained this fact to him on several occassions. He chose not to understand or siuation. This one person with his particular talent for being rude, crude and socially unacceptable put everyone on edge that was in the bar last night. There was practically a round of applause when he left the bar. Now please understand that it is not just him, over the last two weeks or so we have had more drama at the bar than in the last six months combined. Maybe it is the change in the seasons, I don't really know, but it is certainly evident.

Earlier this week we had a person who had to be asked to leave the bar on two consecutive evenings. Now the first night we might have been a little premature in asking for his departure but the second night he showed up wearing a big asshole costume. He unceasingly tried to harass my bartender who wanted nothing to do with him. There no was doubt in his purpose for existence that night. The first night he was at the bar, he stated that he enjoyed bringing up topics with people in which he knew an agruement would ensue, not at my bar you don't. I have enough problems with the yellow dog democrats and yellow dog republicans at my bar without someone purposely trying to start something. This was combined with in an earlier part of the evening, in which while he was acting civil, he politely asked if I would like to join him in a cigarette, I respectfully declined stating that I did not smoke. Then later in the evening he asked me if I wanted to go 'smoke' with him. Once again I politely reminded him that I did not smoke. "Oh no, not cigarettes, I mean 'smoke', I know as an artist, you must smoke, you know..." Well I don't. Let me state for all of my readers, I do not smoke cigars, cigarettes, pot, hashish, opium or anything else that you might be able to inhale. I choose not to do it. Life is complicated enough with alcohol. Even with that particular legal elixir, I rarely choose to consume anymore. Before people state that they have seen me smoke in the past, yes, on about four ocassions in my life I have smoked a cigar and briefly, very briefly in college, I smoked a pipe, with tobacco in it, perferably Early Darkness. I don't care if you smoke, or what you smoke, as long as some of it is not smoked around my bar. Go right ahead, it's your health and liberty that is at stake, but allow me the choice not to do so. Everyone is entitled to their own personal vices, I am still looking for mine.

Assholes come in all sizes and shapes. From those who try and start problems or are looking for a fight to those that are just loud and rude. They enjoy peppering the air with obsenties just because they know the words and feel like it is their constitutional right to use them as frequently as is humanly possible. Engaging in these unwarranted outbursts just call attention to yourself and prove to everyone in earshot that you are a jerk. Remember, it is better to remain silent and thought be be stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt. Or those individuls, both male and female, who cannot form a sentence without it including some form of sexual inuendo. No one at the bar cares about your poor sex life except for you, and sitting in a bar probably won't improve it. Go out and get a date or go home and spend some time with your spouse. Your odds will be significantly improved. Then there is my favorite jerk, the one who knows exactly what you should do to make your bar twice as successful as it is by simply following his intoxicated advice. Now bear in mind, he has never owned a bar, or any other business for that matter. He collects a paycheck from someone else shouldering the financial responsibility of his mistakes in judgement. But he knows just how you should run your bar "if you want to make it right." Dear people, next time you go out for the evening, go before you leave, no one at the bar wants to listen to your shit. Thanks.