Beware Young Lovers..... Part of being in a bar everyday allows you to watch romances develop. Sometimes they develop over a period of days or weeks and sometimes they develop over the consumption of a beer. You know, I always hear from the younger people that I was a product of the 'Love Generation' of the sixties, but we couldn't begin to match the carnal juice swapping that is so prevailent today. At least not that was present in the nineteen-sixties of central Texas. People today engage in sexual acts with each other that rival Bachanalian festivals. I personally know of more than a few women that number there sexual partners in well over 100. And these are not "Working Women", but rather just young girls in their early twenties. I guess this stems from eating too much fast food and grease, their panties just keep sliding down. Now please, understand that I am no prude but really, I have witnessed couples retreating to the privacy of the restrooms or their cars for a quick poke in the whiskers without not even knowing each others names. In at least one case, two days after this one young lady had exchanged bodily fluids with a gentleman who she came across in the bar, I won't say met, because introductions were never made, and then she did not even recognize him when he came back two nights later. My bartender and I had a hard time convincing her that she had indeed met all of him. With the advent of picture taking cell phones, is it too much to ask that you at least take a quick snap-shot of your partner for future reference and to avoid embarassing confusion? This pursuit of lust at mine and other bars in town not always leads to the typically expected boy-girl relations, there have also been a smattering of the more sexually ambidexterous nature leading to the inevitable girl-girl and boy-boy liasons. I know of one man and woman, not related in any way to each other that are completely heterosexual when sober but put a few drinks in them and look out. Then the inhibitions are gone. Little Miss Gin and Tonic has been seen humping more than one atractive young ladies' thigh and Mr. Scotch and Water is certainly more descreet but has been known to flirt heavily with gentlemen in the bar. This same sex activity has ranged from the barely noticable to the outright groping of body parts by people that when sober, would never consider themselves as bi-sexual or dream of such activity. Then there are those you have a Clintionesque view of life that engaging in oral sex is not having sexual relations. According to my wife, this is bullshit.
While I am on the subject of promiscuous sex, girls, for God's sake, please use some form of birth control along with condoms which are used properly. They need to be worn by the guy,not kept in your purse or his wallet. Guys, are you fucking crazy? Random sex without protection is like playing Russisan Roulette. Have you not heard about sexually transmitted diseases? Taking a shower in a raincoat beats a lifetime with Herpes or Aides. Most of you may go to a religious college in town but I don't think that you can rely on divine intervention in preventing STD's from coming into your life. All cell phones should come with a flip out condom carrier. I know of one customer at the bar who has now had three abortions by the age of 22. Abortions are not to be used as birth control. Stop giving the "Right to Lifers" more ammunition to use in the fight to outlaw abortion. Sex is a great pastime to engage in while you are waiting for the buzz to wear off, but do it responsibly and politely. Introduce yourself to your partner before having sex with them and, by the way guys, having sex with an intoxicated woman can legally be considered rape. Be careful and have a great day.
