Janis Joplin and Lassie.... Last night while sitting at the bar and listening to a recording of Janis Joplin singing Mercedes Benz, Mr. Makers Mark commented from out of the blue "Damn, with a voice like that, I would hate to hear her cumming." Now this was a very funny and yet sobbering mental image. The psychological trama that this image could produce could be great. It made me think back to the Night of Lassie that we had at the bar several years ago. I was standing outside of the bar with a friend looking at some impending weather that was moving in when a somewhat regular couple came screeching up into a parking place at the bar. The gentleman proceeded to get out of fthe car yelling "Fucking Bitch!" as he did so adn walked up to the two of us. He then started repeatedly pressing the panic button on his key chain car lock to make the lights on his car flash and the horn honk. After a few moments of this, his wife exited the car along with the statement "Fucking Asshole!" She then stormed up to the entrance and opened the door with such force, I thought it would leave the hinges. I followed the happy couple into the bar and poured each of them a Chardonnay. I then went back to talking with my friend. After a few minutes had passed he excused himself to the mens room to relieve himself of some the beerthat he had consumed.

Moments later, my friend asked if it was proper form to go into the restroom when there were people in there screwing? What the hell, I thought. This was early in my bar career and I was still somewhat niave. My friend and I made our way the the restroom hallway and sure enough there were mating sounds eminating form the interior. Now this particular restroom did not involve a door as such but rather a a "S" turn maze entrance to block the view. My friend told me that he walked into the room before he realized what was going on. He said that they were in stall number three, the handicapped stall. I entered the are and looked under the parttion walls and sure enough, there they were in number three. From the postion of their feet and their pants around their ankles, he was obviously taking her from behind, "doggy style". This must have suited her because she was howling like Lassie, and he wasn't far behind her in the grunts and groans department either. Damn, that woman could howl. Before long, the entire bar had emptied into the restroom hallway to listen to the carnal yodelling. We all returned to the bar before the canine couple ended their festivities. When they returned to the bar, they sat back down at their glasses of Chardonnay as if nothing had happened. About five weeks later, the gentleman came into the bar and proudly announced that his wife was pregnant. All of us at the bar could not help but wonder, if it was a boy, would they name him John?