American Cake

Last weekend was pretty much like any other until the going away party arrived. This was a group of about eight people who had come to bid a fond fair well to a good friend. They ordered a round of drinks and began enjoy themselves, and then another round or two. It wasn't until much later in the evening that I learned just how much they enjoyed themselves, or were at least entertained. After a while, they decided to go out onto the patio to smoke and to share a going away cake that one of them brought to the party. Several times during the evening, they would come back into the bar and ask the bartender if she would like a piece of their cake. She declined their generous offer. Eventually 2 am arrived and all of the party participants went to wherever it is they go, IHOPTM, most likely and I began to clean up the patio. After emptying overflowing ashtrays, I began to pickup the mess from the going away party. It seems that before they went away, they decided to throw a good portion of the left over cake all over the patio, what an f'ing mess. That messy task being completed, I places the plastic cover back on the remaining cake and noticed that there was a large hole in it with quite a bit of icing missing, probably left from the cake throwing. WRONG!!! I brought the cake back into the bar and asked the bartender if she would like to take the remaining cake home to her young son. She politely declined and proceeded explain why. It seems that at one point in the night, the one gentleman who was in attendance at the party ran back into the bar headed for the restrooms, as he did he mentioned to the bartender that he had blue balls, a few moments later, he reappeared and again mentioned laughingly that the problem was solved. The bartender just chalked it up to stupid people as he was only in the restroom for a very short time. The plot thickens, she then went on to tell me that later in the evening, one of the partying girls came in and again asked if she would like a piece of the cake. Once more she declined at which point the party participant informed her that the gentleman had earlier in the evening whipped out his member, (dick),for those of you who don't know what a member is, and stuck it in the cake. So ends the mystery of the hole in the cake. As the cake was covered in blue icing, it also explains his earlier statement of owning a set of blue balls. You know, dear reader, every time I thing I have seen or heard it all, I am proven wrong. Have a great day and remember, please don't eat the yellow snow or from cakes that look like Swiss cheese.