I need a chaser. This phrase was never used in quite the same way before or since at my bar as it was used on this particular night. It was a typical Friday night at the bar, very crowded and very noisy with the typical bar conversations and a jazz duo playing in the corner. One of my good friends, Wendy, came in to drown her sorrows from a recent love affair gone wrong. She very quickly found her way to one of the unattached men at the bar and struck up a conversation with him. Now Wendy has always been a person who seems to demand the spotlight regardless of the situation or what she is doing. This night was to be no different than any other. After sitting at the bar for a while with her new found friend, she suddenly hops down from her barstool, grabs her little bar buddy by the hand and leads him off to the rest rooms. As the bar was very busy, I don’t think anyone but myself noticed this action as I had been across the bar talking to them before their rather sudden departure. I went on to other bar customers needs and did not give much thought to the newly acquainted couple. At almost a predetermined moment in time, Wendy once more appears from the rest room area and strides back into the bar proper with her friend following behind. As if directed from above, the musicians stop playing at moment of her entrance and there is a general lull in the conversation. Wendy jumps on this moment of silence to seize the attention of the bar by miming a wipe of her forearm across her mouth and commenting in a very loud voice “I need a chaser”. At this the bar laughed and her friend that was just the recipient of a little lip service and oral communications looked like he wished he could have just disappearedinto the floor. This was an unusual role reversal as it is usually the gentleman who wants to brag about sexual conquests, not the woman. Well at least Wendy managed to put her aborted and ill conceived prior love affair on a back burner at least for a little while that evening.

The past is prologue to the future. As I am just starting this blog, I am going to reminesce about some of the more amusing things that have taken place over the years and intersperse them with current events. There was the one rainy evening some time ago when a friend of mine, Jack, an insurance agent came into the bar with a co-worker of his for a few drinks. She was just barely old enough to legally drink and he was in his mid thirties. This gentleman had always had a flirtatious nature about him and the young lady he was with was certainly up to giving as good as she got. They sat there drinking their way through a few glasses wine while slowly, the rest of the bar, the early shift, emptied out. Soon they were left alone in the bar as the only two customers, along with myself and the bartender, Christy. The rain had changed from a drizzle to a downpour as they ordered two more glasses of wine. Shortly after this, they both got up to head for the restrooms. When you pour the wine in, you eventually have to recycle it. As I was engaged in consersation with the Christy, we really did not pay any attention to them as they headed to the back of the bar. We did however notice that soon they had been gone for a considerable lenght of time, much longer than necessary for the customary wiz and back to the waiting wine glasses. I walked into the hallway where the restrooms were located and noticed that the mens room door was ajar with no occupant. The plot thickens. I returned to the bar where I appraised Christy of the situation at which point she smiled and shrugged her shoulders in a kind of 'Oh well' motion. A few minutes turned into ten, then twenty. The sound of the rain on the roof was randomly punctuated with the sound of bodies thumping and bumping up against the wall. Soon the rain began to slack off and new customers began to filter back into the bar. The only evidence of the loving couples' presence at the bar was his cell phone and her purse sitting on the bar. Finally after about another fifteen or twenty minutes of wall thumping, the two of them finally emerged from the hallway. As they sat back down at the bar, Jack rather vainly and poorly attempted to explain that he had been in the restroom with his friend helping her as she had become ill. He would have been better to just keep his mouth closed. Everyone at the bar had heard the wall thumping and knew she was not ill. After a few more minutes had passed, he paid his bill and the two of them left. Now the only they wrong with this scenario of new found love was that I did not think that Jack's wife of twelve years would approve of his newfound hobby. I assumed that the next morning, or perhaps later that evening I would receive a phone call explaining his inappropriate behavior, perhaps blaming the Merlot for the regrettable circumstance. Well, I was right, early the next morning I received the the phone call that I was expecting, with one small difference. Here I am expecting Jack to say he was sorry for his behavior, afterall, I know his wife and two children, but instead he blurts out, barely able to contain himself, "Oh my God! That was the best piece of ass that I have had in years." This was not what I was expecting to hear from him. Over the next six weeks or so, a very torrid relationship developed between them. Sex two or three times a day, wherever and whenever they could. He was busy dodging his wife and kids around town, almost getting caught a time or two. After about six weeks of this activity, he showed up at the bar looking pissed at the world. I asked what was up and how his friend was doing. He blurted out that he just finished breaking up with the bitch after he found out that she was sleeping with the guy that she was living with. Just imagine the nerve of the bitch. I laughed at him which set him off. "What the hell are you laughing about?", he asked. I told him that I thought that it was rather funny to me that he was pissed at the girl whom he was cheating on his wife with, because she had the nerve to sleep with the guy she was living with. Unbelievably, he did not see the humor in this. I then went on to say " Well at least you didn't get her pregnant." To which he responded "No, not her!"" I asked what he meant by that and he told me that one night he happened to be very horny and his 'friend' was unable to accomidate him so he had to resort to screwing his wife. She became pregnant with their third child as a result of his misplaced love. Some people are truely unbelievable. That's about all I can say about that. Thanks for reading and have an interesting day.