To Whom It May Concern

This is for everyone who has been reading the blog so far and is thinking, "Is he talking about me?". Hell no, I am not talking about your silly behavior, only all of the other silly people that come into the bar and do stupid things. Be of good cheer, I would never talk about the times you have acted inappropriately in a bar. I am not talking about you, Miss Screw Kappa Nappa, as far as I am concerned this is the only time that I have mentioned you in the blog, so far. So please, you can relax and feel good about yourself.

For all of the rest of you out there, just keep telling yourself "It's Not me". The time you pissed in your pants, well there must have been someone else that he saw do that, not me. The time you thought it was a fart and were wrong and shit in your pants, then proceeded to continue drinking at the bar for an hour before you went home to change, that wasn't you either. It must have been someone else, not me. The time you had enough gas to fill the Hindenberg and left the bar uninhabitable, he surely must be referring to someone else farting repeatedly and unceaseingly, not the time I did that, yeah, that's right, not me. Then there was the time that you were so horny, that you were begging for someone in the bar to give me a proper ravaging, but thankfully everyone that was there were your friends and would not fulfill your wish. He must be talking about someone else who was so horny that they wanted to have sex with the whole bar. For all of you who have had inapropriate sex in and around the bar, don't worry, I'm not talking about you either. Not you! It must be someone else.

I was not talking about you either, who told the same story for the 215th time since I have owned the bar. He must be talking about some other boring, repetative intoxicated person, not me. My only request on this one is, for all of you who insist on retelling the same story over and over, tell it correctly. My bartenders can tell most of the stories better than you can. Of course, they are completely sober, you're not. But then I am not talking about you anyway, so what does it matter. Oh, and by the way, by now, everyone at the bar knows how to boil a bratwurst and knows that the price of gasoline changes everyday. All of my customers may not be Nobel Laureates, but with the exception of one bicycle rider, they all buy gasoline and realize that the price goes up and down, although it does seem like it goes up more often than not. Most of the people at the bar don't care what you had for lunch or what you are going to have for dinner either. Read a newspaper before you come in, there is most likely something in it we can all talk about.

One last group of people that I am not talking about in the blog are, either the conservatives, ie. the Republicans who are not always righteous and the liberals, ie. Democrats, who according to the Republicans are not always supid, ignorant idiots. And vice-versa, as well. In my lifetime I have seen both Democrats and Republicans make huge blunders. Neither one has the high moral ground all of the time, although they both accidentally do the right thing from time to time. The truth is both parties are in a business called politics, hell, they are politicians, and most are lawyers to boot. If you think lawyers are going to screw people in civil life, imagine what they will do when they get real power. If they are not lawyers, they are still rich business men. When is the last time you saw a poor person get elected to the Congress or Senate. People, it's all about them, the politicians that is, and getting themselves re-elected, it's not about us. Learn this, then have another drink and shut up. These people possess the largest egos on the planet. But because of the law of averages, both parties happen to do things right ocassionally. Thank God for mathematics. But don't worry, I am not talking about you either. It's always someone else. Just keep telling yourself that. Thanks for reading, and relax, Miss Screw Kappa Nappa, I was not talking about you. Not yet, anyway.